October

This month was the month of trying new forms of healing. The shot I was on already was not working well enough to suppress the endometriosis, we decided to switch to a shot that would completely shut off my estrogen and send me into menopause... At age 15.

The first injection I had, was a little emotional. We talked about all the possible side effects, what I was to expect, and the doctor also said that this would be it. This was our last chance attempt at fixing all of these problems I was having. There was no cure for endometriosis, however there were several things I could do to suppress the pain. And other than a hysterectomy, this one of the last things I could do that would help me.

After one of the most painful shots I'd have to have every month from now on, all I wanted was the most supreme nachos I could imagine, so off to Amanda Fonda's my mom and I went! I saw the school on the way to the restaurant and broke down in tears. Every day having to look out the window, across the street at the school, was torture. That's the only place I wanted to be.

Through this entire experience, my mom has been a complete God send. I can't imagine how hard it must be to have to watch your child go through pain this severe or what a toll it takes on your life while you're at work and school, but through it all my mom has been my hero, taking care of me and doing anything she could for me.

The other thing we started in October was acupuncture, which I was scared to death of. When you think needles, you don't think pain relief, you think IV's, getting blood drawn, pain... So having needles shoved into where I was hurting most didn't sound pleasant at all.

With a quickened heart beat and a body shaking like a leaf, I talked nervously through the painful car ride across town, but after the end of my first acupuncture session, I knew that I would be back time after time. The needles didn't give me any pain, in fact they relieved it more than any of my pain medication had, it was amazing.

Because it was still so hard for me to be up and around, I had to supplement going out and partying with friends, with fun things I could do while laying on the couch, that didn't cause me much pain. One of my new-found loves was scrap booking. For our sixth month anniversary, Nick bought me a big scrapbook filled with every single picture we had taken as a couple in our time together. Other than the pictures, he left the pages blank, so that when I was sitting at home alone with nothing to do, I could scrap book. For probably a month, all I did every day was scrapbook the past sixth months we had spent together. It was perfect.

While everyone was dressing up and planning to go out to multiple parties, I had planned to have a little movie night at home with my friends. And the weekend before Halloween, we went to the pumpkin patch to pick out the perfect pumpkins. It was a lot of walking and I couldn't partake in any of the activities there, but it was just what I needed. I loved it.

I ended up cancelling my party, and staying in to be with the ones that really mattered-- my family. And Nick... But at this point Nick was my family. We baked some fun snacks, watched scary movies, and spent the whole night together.

I guess this month, along with trying new things, I also learned that I had all the support I needed. The people who stood by me weren't necessarily the people I expected, but it didn't matter. They were all I had to lean on and they never left, even when everyone else did.

Even if my pain was still continuing, it was time for me to start focusing on the positives in life instead of wallowing in what was wrong with me.