June

As the pain continued, my hope for my usual happy and healthy life became weaker and weaker as the days passed.

June was a month of what we thought would be my recovery. We were waiting to get back into the gynecologist's office for an appointment with a doctor, however it wasn't until July.

While all of my friend's were out, having fun with summer, I was lying in bed staring out the open window. This was when a little bit of my depression began. I felt sad. I felt mad at myself for being sick with who-knows-what. I wasn't able to get out with the rest of my friends and have fun, and who wanted to come sit next to a girl who couldn't even stay awake without crying? No one.

Day after day, I laid in bed, watching the world move on without me. I wondered what I would be doing if I could make it out of the house. All I wanted was a beach, and an incredible tan.

In attempts to raise my spirits, my mom borrowed a wheel chair from some family friends so that I would be able to get out and about for at least a little while. The pain was so intense that it completely limited my walking. Some days, I was unable to walk at all.

In the wheel chair, I was able to get outside for a while. My mom would push me around the complex for hours in the evening time, then we would put the break on and watch the sun set behind the beautiful Pikes Peak that we could see perfectly from our front porch.

One day in the middle of June, my mom decided that it would be a perfect day to get out and go to the zoo. And now that we had the wheelchair, I actually could! The trip to the zoo would give me a little time out to enjoy my summer.

All afternoon, my boyfriend, Nick, my brother, Zach, and my mom took turns pushing me up and down the hills of the zoo in my wheel chair. I was so happy because if nothing else, I got to be outside. I actually got to do something for my summer.

One trip out was all I needed to pick my spirits up for a little while longer. That one trip out could at least get me to July, when I met with the OBGYN, and hopefully found out what was going on with me.

One day, I was able to get out with my friends and family and spend the whole day as if I was healthy and happy and back to normal. For a while, I actually thought I was. And I'm sorry to ruin the story so soon, but this is not when my story meets its happily ever after.

In the middle of watching X-Men First Class with my dad and brother Zach, the most excruciating pain I could have ever imagined hit me like a ton of bricks straight to my stomach. I sobbed through the end of the movie and was unable to even walk to the car after the credits had rolled all the way through. My dad carried me out to the car and we immediately went home.

I was sad, I was mad, I was hurting. And all I can say is thank goodness for some old prescription pain killers that I hadn't used up yet. For almost three days, my pain stayed at about a 34, on a scale of 1-10. I slept most of the time and don't remember a whole lot. But this was it. My cyst had finally burst. Once the pain came down from a 34 to a 10, July could not have come soon enough.

I didn't care what that doctor did, but I wanted answers, and I wanted answers now. I could not keep living in this pain for the rest of my life.